Emily's Mum Sharing

My daughter, Emily, was about 4 year-old and was supposed to go to school happily as other children. However, after attending school for some time, the principal of the kindergarten complained to me that Emily would often take off her clothes in school, or would spin on the floor, running around in school and would not give any response when her name was being called. I was very shocked and helpless after listening to all these complaints. At home, she would not do anything assigned by the principal, and was generally quiet. When I was told by another parent that Emily was really behaving in this way in school, I was really fearful and worried. I tried asking the people around me, but all of them would only reassure me that my child was still young and things would get better when she grows up.

When I was searching for solutions, I cried almost everyday. I felt fearful and helpless. My parents also could not help with Emily’s problem. She would not speak; at the same time, I did not know whether she could understand what has been told to her. We did not have much interaction. Most of the time, she would just play by herself. During this period, I beat her quite frequently because I had no other ways to control her behavior. In recalling these episodes, I really felt ashamed of what I have done to her.

During the most helpless time, I came across Ms Lee Li Li’s (Consulting Psychologist) column in a magazine, sharing information on child’s development disorders and learning difficulties. At that time, I was hoping to give it a try and contacted A Zon Educare Advisory. Then, I actively scheduled consultation session with Ms. Lee Li Li. During the consultation session, I learned that Emily has developmental delay and hyperactivity problem. Ms. Lee suggested intervention program for my child. Initially, I let Emily attend the program once a week. A month later, I increased it to twice a week after being advised by Ms Lee. On the other hand, the principal of her kindergarten requested not to let Emily to participate in the school concert and orientation. I guessed the school has no idea how to deal with Emily’s problems or perhaps was worried that other parents might complain. At that moment, my heart was really hurt and I thought: “My child is not abnormal; why can’t she participate in the concert with the other children?” I then decided to change school for Emily.

After two to three months of intervention programs, I began to notice improvement in Emily. She was more willing to go to her grandma’s house. Before this, she would only burst into tears. Gradually, she could also follow me to my friends’ house as well. After transferring to the new school and attending programs in A Zon for six months, Emily stopped running around, started to talk and was able to provide simple verbal responses. My child’s behavior and self-control have slowly improved; at the same time, her concentration and communication skills have shown progress too. In the second half of her 5th year and approaching her 6th year, I began to worry about her learning ability. This was because she still did not know how to write and could not spell during her tests. Teachers of A Zon would always give professional intervention classes diligently. I often worked on the teacher’s homework preparation with Emily so that she can have more practice at home.

In the first half of Emily’s 6th year, I began to notice her significant progress. She can write her name in both Mandarin and English. From getting one correct answer in spelling test, she slowly increased to two, then to three ...... until one day, she could get all her spelling correct! Although I did not expect her to know all, I am really grateful and pleased with her progress. In addition, her communication with us and with others keeps improving. Unlike last time, now she seldom gives irrelevant responses. Emily will go to elementary school next year. I am very grateful that I found A Zon and the other kindergarten during this hard time. A Zon has provided help and improved Emily’s learning abilities, such as concentration skill, self-control skill, communication skill, learning skills, etc.

Words for other parents…

Previously, I was very afraid to let others know that my child has problem because I was unable to accept the fact that my child needs such special attention. However, whether our child is good or bad, it totally depends on whether parents are willing to “take the first step”. If you find that your child is encountering problem, you need to seek for professional assistance as soon as possible; consult a psychologist or related professionals. Be sure not to miss the prime time for early intervention, which is from 3 years old to 5 years old.

Sometimes, we may take this matter lightly because of the comforting words from others, and thus ignore the child’s problems and his or her need for help. Therefore, I would like to encourage parents who have the same experience as mine, to not ‘save face’ at the expense of the child's need for professional help. If you choose to seek help from professionals, the role of parents is also very important. Be sure to cooperate and be attuned to the arrangements of teachers and also to give your child additional training at home at the same time.

Interviewee： Emily's Mum